My name is Nazeela beevi. I am from a small village called Karinganoor which is in Kollam (Quilon) District, Kerala, India. My father's name is Abdul Rehman Moulvi. About ten years ago my father was working as chief Emam (Muslim Priest) over many Emams who used to give religious speeches.
While my father was serving in many mosques he came to know through medical science that he will not have any kids. But my father took many vows, generously gave offerings and waited for result. He went to Mecca for haj and became a Hajji and said to Allah like this, "Allah, if you give me a child and even if the child is a girl I will dedicate her and give her as an offering to the Mosque for your work. Usually Muslims offer only boy child and do not offer their girl child or dedicate her for the work of Mosque because Quran, the scripture of Muslims says that girls should not go outside of their houses showing their beauty. This type of a law was given by Mohammad nabi in Quran. Because my father was a person who loved to obey every law of Quran as it is written in the Quran, he brought me up in the strict rules of Quran. From three years of my life my father would take me to the mosque, would make me to do the works of the mosque and make me to sleep in the mosque itself. My days were spent in mosque itself. Only for a little time that also rarely I would go to home with my father. When my father got transferred he left me in the same mosque with the new Emam to do the work of Mosque. At this time alone I went to school for studies. After school I would return to the Mosque. Like this I lived in Mosque until the age of puberty. When I reached the age of puberty, I was brought to my home and was made to sit in my home and learn Quran and follow the laws of Quran. According to the Quran a child should start following the laws of Quran when he/she is seven years old. So from the age of seven my father strictly taught me to pray five times in a day, fast in days of Ramzaan, recite Quran loudly and give alms in the days of sacrifice. From the seventh year of my life I did everything accordingly until my 16th year. From my 7th year I wore covered dress (parda). When I went to school my father would put an extra black cloth on my face and covered my face. The reason behind it was that if the gentiles look at me, I would become cursed or unholy because I am a child offered to Allah and an offered child should not have any defect. In the Old Testament it is written that sacrificial things should not be defective. You can see that several of these laws of Old testament are also in Quran. So my father brought me up in the strict rules of Islam. In my black covering there were only two small net opening to see outside. My hands were covered with black gloves and legs with black socks. I would go to school wearing all these black dresses as a black figure. If I had to go outside, I would go wearing this type of dress. There was no freedom to go to the neighborhood. No freedom to mingle with people of other religions. If close relatives came in the house, I could only speak a little bit with them. I have three young brothers but I did not have much freedom to carry them, to have fun with them or to fondle them. Only for a few moments I was allowed to do that. All the other times I should spend time with Quran in my room. Like this I spent sixteen years of my life in a room of my home separated from others. I did not have the knowledge to speak a word wisely among four people who come together. Even if I want to mingle with such company, I did not have the freedom to go among them. I grew up in this type of Muslim home. I have taken great pains to follow the Islamic Law and I had completely dedicated myself for this purpose. But when I was 14 years old a thought came into my mind that I do not have any freedom to go around, have no freedom to wear the dresses which I liked, have no freedom to play or laugh as I wished, but always being with Quran and praising Allah and living alone in my room, "When I die and go what would be my reward?"
But Quran says that Allah is the only one God, that he made the world and that those who believe in him, who speak no lies, who do not steal, who recites Quran loudly five times, who do not commit adultery, who does not hurt anybody will go to heaven in the future. But I did not have the assurance in my life or had not experienced the assurance in my life. Until sixteen years of my life I recited Quran five times a day but still my heart was filled with an emptiness continuously.
So I started studying deeply about the characters in the history as given in quran which I had already read from Quran. In my young age Muslim priests taught Quran in Mosque and later on they came and taught Quran in home. When they were teaching me like this, there were 25 characters, that is, 25 prophets as given in Quran. In Arabic these characters are called Ambiya Mursalingal. Among these 25 prophets, the last prophet is given as Mohammed. About Mohammed it is written that he was the greatest and precious prophet etc. because he founded the Islam religion and Quran was written on revelation from Allah. According to Quran's order of prophets, Adam was the first prophet and Mohammed was the last prophet. Adam to Mohammed there were 25 prophets. The 24th prophet was Jesus Christ. When I started studying about Him there was a great stir in my heart to study about Him deeply. When we study the book of Esther we do not read the word "God" in that book, but we can see the mighty acts of God in that book. In the same way Quran does not say about Isa Masih (Jesus Christ) that he is great, or that He has divine qualities or that He is unique. But a study of His life story reveals the truth of His greatness, His Godliness and His uniqueness hidden in the history of His life story. In Quran it is written about Jesus. "O, Mariam" or "Surat-ul-Mariam" are two names in Quran. There was an Emam in Mosque whose virgin daughter's name was Mariam beevi. Allah's angel called her "O, Mariam". So in Quran the name "O, Mariam" was recorded. As the life story and details of Mariam is written the name of Mariam came in the surats of Quran. In Surat 19:20 & 21 it is written that by the Word (kalaam) of Allah Jesus Christ was formed (born) in Mariam beevi's womb. While reading these verses a thought came in to my mind that prophet Jesus was born in the womb of Mariam beevi just because of Allah's spoken Word. Prophet Mohammed has spoken the revelation, verses, words spoken by Allah in the Quran. Only through those verses that we understand about Allah. Then I felt, "Is not prophet Jesus the Word of Allah? Then why was it spoken about Him that He is just a prophet? Again I started thinking, "Prophet Mohmmad is called the "precious prophet" and people celebrate his prophethood, and give honor to prophet Mohammad and prophet Mohammad is spoken of as the greatest prophet. There is a faith verse in Quran called "Shahadat-kalaam" Those who want to accept Allah, he/she should speak this Kalaam that Allah is the one god and without him no one else, he is the alpha and omega. Whom I am accepting as my only God. I am witnessing that his prophet is prophet Mohammad. This much greatness is given to prophet Mohammad. But this prophet Mohammad was born in this earth as the son of Amina Beevi and Abdullah. When he was born, he was just a human being. At the age of forty he was given the prophethood. These things are written in Quran itself. But Prophet Jesus was not born of a man but was divinely conceived in the womb of virgin Mary by the spoken word of Allah. While thinking on these things I started to feel that the father of Prophet Jesus must be Allah whom I am worshipping as the only god. I started to say to myself that there is something special in prophet Jesus. While studying the life story of Jesus, as written in Quran, I found that from His 30th year He started His ministry to preach the Good news with His twelve disciples, that mighty miracles took place through His word, and seeing that blind people and lepers were getting healed, that all the people of the country were following Him, fearing that they may loose their authority, the Jews planed to kill Jesus by crucifixion. But it is written that when they were trying to implement their plan Allah took Jesus bodily to heaven. The Jews mistakenly killed one of the disciples of Jesus on the cross. But Jesus is today in heaven. But there is a day called end day coming when Anti-Christ will come to rule the world. At that time nations will be under his kingdom and his rule. And because of the troubles, hardship and tribulations people will cry and think, 'who will help us? Who will save us? and Who will deliver us from this man? It is written that at that time Allah will send prophet Jesus on this earth with authority to defeat anti-Christ and his disciples in a war and He will become a deliverer and Savior for those frightened people who are looking for help. All these things are written in Quran itself.Then I thought, "prophet Mohammad is being spoken of as the greatest, he is also considered as unique in Quran, but I felt that Jesus Christ deserved more to be given this greatness and to be considered as unique. I brought this doubt before my mother. Mother told it to my father. My father and others came to me and said, "you should not question Allah's words but you should follow his words." The reason was that in their eyes I was something different. When my father would come home on holidays from Mosque, people came from far away places with different kinds of problems for a solution. My father would be performing something or other for them. For the solution for their family debts, problems, quarrels and peacelesness my father would write Quran verses, read and recite over talisman and bind over them or pray over a thread and bind over them or recite and pray over water and give it to them. After that they will come with big presents and will say, "because you gave us those things, now our problem has been solved." People came also in the absence of my father. My father had given me instruction on such occasions to recite such and such verses bind this way or that way give that to them and send them away and those things will work and will perform what is required Later on I have heard them reporting to my father saying, "what your daughter had given brought quicker and better result than what you give." Because through me such things were happening, those within my family, those around me and the relatives of my father felt something special about me. So they would say, "you should not question the words of Quran but you should follow it." If you question Quran and if something happens, then not only you alone but also our whole family would be coming under curse.As no one could satisfactorily clear my doubts and as according to my expectation I could not come across a divine experience, a heavenly experience, from my 14th year whenever I would enter for prayer and when I would come out after prayer, which I do five times in a day, every time I used to pray, "Allah, my scripture says that you are only one God and I believe that. But I do not have the assurance that you are the one God and that you do mighty miracles. I want you to bring me to that assurance. Because my father has given my whole life to you. When I will be coming to marriageable age, my father would give me in marriage to an Emam like my father. Then both of us together will have to live pleasing Allah. That is in essence the vow of my father. I said, Allah, I want to live like that only. But I want you to give me the assurance that you are the one who created me that you are the one who created this world. I prayed this prayer ten times in a day from my 14th year of my life until 16th year.
I have already told that I had no freedom to go outside of my home. But once an emergency happened in my home. My father was not at home, he would come home only rarely because he was serving in a mosque in a far away place from home. My brothers were young children. My mother cannot go. It became necessary for my mother to send me. When my mother was sending me to the house of my aunt who is my father's sister, she gave me much direction. When I was studying in school, I used to visit my aunt often and today also I was to go there. There was a bus stop near my house. I had to catch the direct bus from there to my aunt's house. My mother told me, "daughter, you should not interact with gentiles, you should not stand where they stand, you should stand where no one is standing, you should not look at the face of anybody, do not speak to them, but when the bus comes you catch the bus, go there, do your work and return as soon as possible. Specially, you should not look at the face of any man because these things are prohibited. She spoke all these things to me and sent me away with great fear and with great faith. I came to the bus stop and just as my mother told me, I stood in a corner of the bus stop. When I was standing there, there were many people, men and women who were in that bus stop. No one seemed to be caring about me; they only looked once towards me and stood aside because they could not see my face clearly as my face was covered with black clothe. They stood aside, probably thinking, "What type of figure is she?"When I was standing there, a respectable looking old man probable in his 60's approached me slightly stooped to look at my face because I was standing with my face down. He came to me and with folded hands he wished me. And he said to me like this, "child, when I saw your dress, I realized that you are growing up and living in a radical Muslim family. But you will never be able to go to heaven for which you desire, wishing with faith, waiting for it, just by wearing this type of dress or by following your scriptures. If you want to go to heaven you need to come out believing in the way of Jesus whom I serve. After saying this he said, I am telling you the thoughts of your heart. When he said like that, I once looked at his face and then looked at the ground. I was shocked and thought, "How could this man know my thoughts which I had been carrying in my heart from the last two years?"Then he talked to me about Jesus. So I said to him, "I don't want to hear about this Jesus. this Jesus is a human being. He died on the cross which means that He was not God nor was He a prophet but simply a human being and I don't want to hear about Him." And I told, "I can tell you the true life story." I told him the whole life story of Isa Nabi as I have said about him before. He said, " The story you told about Isa Nabi is correct. Jesus about whom I told you is the same Isa Nabi about whom you were telling. He said that this Isa Nabi (Prophet Jesus) is the same Jesus. Saying that he started to tell the verses from the Bible to prove that Jesus is God. I interrupted him and said, "I don't want to hear, I have no interest in listening to this. I closed my ears with my hands saying, in fact listening to your words are prohibited for me. Then he gave me a Bible in my hand and said, "Ok, I am not saying anything, but read the words of the Bible and know that Jesus is God." When I took the Bible in my hand, a great fear and restlessness came in my heart because from my childhood I heard, learned and grew with these teachings that you should not touch the scriptures of other faiths with your hand. Touching will make you unholy. My father had taught me that I have to touch such scriptures only for destroying them.Suddenly I felt that because I took the Bible in my hands, Allah would punish me but if I destroy it Allah will reward me. I told him to just wait there for a moment. I borrowed a matchbox from nearby shop and in front of that person I burnt down the Bible. Thus I established my faith in the Allah and that his words written in Quran alone and nothing else. After burning the Bible, I told him to leave me alone and said, "I don't want to see your face nor do I want to hear your words. Just leave this place."The person then told me, "The same Jesus whom you have rejected has seen you. Carrying in your hands a Bible similar to that you have burnt, you will preach the same Jesus whom you have rejected, proclaiming that Jesus is God among your own people and in different parts of the world. Those days are coming. After saying those words that person left that place.When that person left saying these words, a great restlessness filled my soul and I worried thinking why he spoke like that. I started thinking whether there is any meaningful signification in what he said. I did not feel like going to my aunt, but I ran back to my home. My mother looked at me and asked, "did you go, what happened there?" But I did not say a word and I entered in my room. Though I was sitting inside my home I had no peace. There were Quran verses and the words of Quran photo framed or laminated hanging in my room which I recited and still I could not get any peace in my heart and the restlessness did not leave me.Immediately I came out of my room. My mother again asked, what happened to me. She said, "you are looking aweful, did anybody say anything to you?" Then also I did not say anything because I was not able to say anything. There was a very heavy burden in my heart and a feeling that something bad was going to happen to me. I felt that something bad will happen to me right then. Something is going to happen to me. Something will happen.. Something will happen; these thoughts were continuously in my heart.When these thoughts were ruling my heart, I heard the call to prayer from Mosque reminding that it was prayer time. I thought, "when I will go and pray the Muslim prayer, I will get peace. Prayers have to be done five times in a day and every time when the Mosque "call to prayer" is heard that will be prayer time.
When these thoughts were ruling in my heart, I heard the call for prayer from the Mosque reminding that it was time for prayer. I thought, "when I go and pray the Muslim prayer, I will be getting peace." There are prayers five times in a day and every time call for prayer comes from the Mosque I would pray. After making all the preparations to recite the prayer. I entered in my prayer room. Though I entered my prayer room, I could not get any peace.
In Quran it is written that the recitation should be with concentration, that there should not be any other thought in the mind of the person who recites, that several Surahs (verses) have to be recited at the time of prayer with one mind, with the right intonation, and the correct rhythm and pronunciation, that the recitation should not be heard outside. It is also written that if the above said guidelines were not followed, then Allah would not accept that prayer and also that he would punish those who do not recite properly. These things are taught in Quran.But when I started reciting, the order in which Surahs should be recited went wrong. What I should have recited at the end, I recited in the beginning, and which should be recited at the first, I recited at the end, what is needed to be recited while bending down, I did it earlier, what required at the time of sitting down I recited in the middle. Likewise the whole sequence was messed up. I was unable to do in the correct order and I was not able to pray. I was completely terrified. I tried six times over and over again to do everything in the correct order. There is a book called prayer order, I brought it out and tried to read from it and tried to recite in the correct sequence and still I could not do it in order. I was completely terrified thinking, "oh, what is happening to me? This was not a matter which I learnt just one time some day in my life time so that I could not bring it back to my memory. This was what I was reciting five times in a day, which I was doing from the age of seven, which I had even recited correctly on the same day morning, which I could recite even if I was asked in sleep, I started feeling that there must be some kind of power working behind it. I knelt down on my knees, raised both my hands towards heaven and said like this, "Allah, I do not have peace, I am feeling restless, now I do not have the ability to worship you. It is for you that my father had dedicated me. My life is completely for you. But I do not have the assurance that you are my Lord. Now if you bring me to that assurance and to that peace I will never again doubt you and I will give my whole life for you. No matter what happens, I will serve you. While saying like this and sitting on my knees with closed eyes, I felt as if a powerful wind blowing and entering in my room. As the wind was blowing, I felt as if the walls of my room shaking, the glasses of windows were shaking, hitting each other and making big noise. The place where I was sitting was vibrating violently and my whole body was shaking. I was thrown away and fell down on the floor. I thought it would have been an earthquake. When I opened my eyes, I saw great light brighter than the shining sun was filled in my room. Jesus Christ who lives in unapproachable light His presence came down in my room. But I did not recognize Him as Jesus. In one look I beheld a beautiful man's figure in the midst of bright light. But I could not see Him clearly because He was covered with bright light. I was unable to capture that image because the bright light was blinding my eyes. I covered my eyes with my hands. At that moment my fingers were shaking. I felt as if all my bones were running like water. Just like cotton moves in the direction of wind, all my strength was gone and I collapsed on the floor. I became like numb. Then I thought, will it be the presence of Allah? I called out my Rab, Rehman who are you and what is this? My cry was not coming out of my mouth because there was no voice. Suddenly I heard a voice, "I am Jesus Christ who died for you on the cross, kneel down at my feet." In the presence of that voice, I was thrown and fell down again. I said, "Jesus, my father dedicated me for Allah but now I am giving my father's vow to you. I am even ready to die for you. Because those children who are dedicated for Allah, those vows end with the death of a sacrifice. But vows would be taken and children would be dedicate for the work of Mosque but they don't do sacrifice. Because they believe that Abraham sacrificed his son Ishmael and they do it in remembrance of it. But I said, Lord, I am dedicating this vow in front of you. Though I did not know how to say that time yet I said, "if I has to die for you still I will live for you. I will stand for your name." And I dedicated my life at that moment and accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior. When I was dedicating myself that time I had an experience of a different kind of power coming over me from my head to toe and covering me. And I felt as if something left me. Because of it a great faith and courage came in my life and I experienced of getting knowledge and wisdom. An unspeakable boldness ruled over my life.
After that for almost one year I worshipped and served my Lord secretly. In the presence of my family when they recited from Quran, I would also do the same, but in my heart I would pray to Jesus. When my mother was not watching, I would not recite, but would go to my room and pray to Jesus kneeling down on my knees because, it was when I was praying on my knees that I had my encounter with Jesus. That was the time when I saw Jesus and came to know Him. So from that day I would kneel down and pray. When my mother will call me saying, "come daughter, it is time for recitation", then I would go with her and act as if I am also reciting, but in my heart I would only say, "Jesus I worship you, Jesus I am praising you."
While sleeping at night I had a dream, somebody telling me that I may have to continue like this for one year. So I felt that I have to keep this newfound faith secret for almost one year. But in those days my father came home on every holiday because he was working as Emam in a nearby mosque. Sometimes he would come home in the evening and he observed that I was not reciting Quran. The reason for my not reciting Quran was that after knowing Jesus as God, I had no inclination to take any other name except the name of Jesus and to praise Him. So I stopped reciting Quran. But after an incident, God started giving me revelations, visions and advises. From that day onwards I would see visions continuously. Through dreams I used to see the past events and happenings of the Bible which I did not know.You may be asking about that incidence, how it happened? At the time of recitation, I would also recite with my mother but at the beginning of the recitation one word "Allah Akbar" should be spoken loudly. Allah Akbar means Allah is the greatest. But I would not say that. My mother noticed that I was not speaking that word. After observing for two three days, she asked, "What is the reason that I am not hearing you saying, "Allah Akbar"? I said, "I am telling along with you, that is why you could not hear." But she did not believe it. She started to observe carefully. That night I prayed like this, "Lord Jesus, it appears to be not possible for me to worship you and to keep my faith secret for one year. By that time the matter may be revealed. So, before that, shall I declare to them all these things that you appeared to me, that you came down in front of me, that you are the true God? When I asked and prayed like this, suddenly a thought passed through my mind. That was definitely not from my inner mind. Such a thought could never have come from my mind because my situation was like that. My circumstance and experience was like that. At that time I did not have the knowledge, understanding, wisdom or education. The thought was like this, "Allah Akbar" means "Allah is the greatest". Jesus is called "Yeshu Masiha" in the Hebrew language and He is called "Isa Masih" in the Arabic language. If so "Isa Akbar" would mean "Jesus is the greatest".So I decided that when I will be reciting along with my mother, when my mother would say, "Allah akbar" I would say "Isa Akbar". In this manner I worshipped for one year. From that day, my God started to teach me many things because when my God was about to send me in this world, I should be equipped with the understanding of the experience and culture of this world, He started to expand and enlarge my wisdom. The word of God says, "Fear of God is the beginning of wisdom." When we really love Him, worship Him and serve Him, He is able to fill us with wisdom. This is the very reason why, God anointed me, an individual who has no education, having no knowledge and understanding, having no experience of the culture of this world, to proclaim His words of wisdom to the masses. So like this I survived one year with the help of the Holy Spirit who led me. I realized that Holy Spirit had always been with me because of the experiences that I had in my life later on. My father when he came home, when he performed works of witchcraft, it happened that the effectiveness or power of the act did not show up. When my father prayed, it was revealed to him that the reason for the hindrance was because of me. He started to watch and found out that I was not reciting Quran. He called me and asked, "What happened to you, you are not reciting Quran? You do not have the zeal as before. Something had happened to you... I would say, "Nothing, there is no problem at all" and would slip away from that place. But my heart was very heavy and I was worried thinking what I should have to speak. But my father did not get a clear revelation through his witchcraft powers what could have happened to me. He only knew that something had happened to me. He became worried because it was time for him to fulfill his vow.My father made all the arrangements for giving me in marriage to an Emam when I was 17 years old. He fixed everything and chose one Emam whom he himself sent to study in a place called Kasarcodu. That year he would come back and that was the time to give me in marriage. My father was worried that if at that moment if something happened to me or if some deficiency occurred in me, a curse could come upon the whole household. My father went to see some Muslim priests. They said, "Your doubt is correct, some magnetic power has enveloped her. Because she is under this magnetic power, she has forgotten all other things and she is forgetting other things. She would do every thing dictated by this power only. There are chances that she may leave us very soon." When my father heard that, he said, "That should not happen, because I am the leader of a group leading and guiding them and if it happens, it would be the reason for my great shame. Not only for me but for our society it would be shameful." He asked them what he should do then.They told him, "Do one thing, immediately start preparation for her wedding." Before marriage there is a ceremony for Muslim girls called purification. It is done for their purification and to strengthen their old faith once again and this is the act to once again affirming their faith and belief on Allah. Marriage takes place only after this ceremony and especially this ceremony is done in the houses of Muslim priests. They told him to do this ceremony and that at that time they will also come and do one more special ceremony on that day. They assured him that I will then become as old and that I will be separated from this power.
As soon as my father returned, he started preparing everything for my marriage and within two days he invited all those people. And for this special ceremony to purify me, I was made to sit there before them. Water was kept there in a pot. Those priests will sit at one level and one place and from the same level and same place, they will be reciting Quran surahs in one rhythum and will blow over and into that water. After the power has fully entered in that water, they would be pouring the water over my head. Holding my head, Quran verses would be recited over my head and that would purify me. Then the powers ruling over me would leave me and I will become my old self. This was their purpose and aim. I have seen that this method had worked and had happened exactly as intended with so many girls. I have seen and experienced a difference in those girls. At that moment a fear came in my heart, "Jesus, their intention is to make me like old one. If I had to become like that, I have to forget you. If I have to forget you, I should lose my right mind. Their act is an act of binding my right mind. It is an act of erasing my memory. If they are successful and the fruit of their act is revealed then my memory would be erased. So I said, "Lord when you came down in my prayer room, because the walls of the room shook, I believe that there is no other power above your power and I believe that, that power would come down and deliver me at this very moment." When I was saying like that, the Muslim priests came near me with that water to pour over me. When they were approaching me, as if somebody was pushing them back, they ran backward. They tried one more time and had the same experience. A fear came into their hearts. I could not understand what happened to them. I thought, what could have happened to them? I also jumped and stood up on my feet. Everyone else also stood up. There was a commotion, What happened? What happened? When the commotion subsided, they slowly started telling that, "the power enveloping her is not a magnetic power, but a fence of fire surrounding her."When this mighty power was revealed among the Muslim priests, a great courage, a great confidence came into my heart that, "even if the whole world would go against me, still the God who made this world is with me. The God who came down in my prayer room to call me has not gone up, but is still with me: He did not leave me alone or did not go up but He is still with me." It is written in the Bible that, "the God who called you is faithful", "I will be with you even to the end of the age", "I have overcome the world"... but at that time I did not know these Bible verses. In those days there was nobody to strengthen me, telling me these verses, as I did not know any servant of God, any believer, prayer worrier or someone who knew the Bible. Further no gentiles could have entered in our compound. Even if someone touched our boundary wall, my father would cleanse the wall; that is the type of man my father is. No person belonging to a different religion had permission to enter our home. I did not know any Christian. My land is a land where there were no Christians, but only Muslims. Every moment I had been seeing only the tradition and routine of how Allah is being worshipped, and hearing only the Quran Surahs. After knowing Jesus, I have not come in contact with any children of God who had experienced the presence of Jesus or any work connected with His mighty acts and deeds or any such circumstances as my family has no contact with any of these activities. But it happened that Lord Jesus started to live in my heart. On that day that light which came down in my prayer room along with the presence of God' permeated through my bones, my veins, and have started living in me.
Then the Muslim priests told my father, "It is not possible to bring her back to her old self by any other ceremony or ritual or rite. So you have to keep her locked up in a room till her wedding day. Till that day do not allow her to have any relationship with anybody including her mother and brothers who should not be allowed to see her. If there is any emergency you can go alone and do it for her." They also told him to make a separate room for me attached to my father's room. My father's room was in a different location away from all the other rooms My father does not sleep at night time but would be spending time with Quran verses and connected works. My father constructed a small room attached to his room in which a person could hardly stand, sit or sleep. He fixed a door which can be locked only from the outside. A window (a frame with parallel bars fixed) was fitted. The window had no curtain or door. Through the window my father could always monitor and see what I was doing. The on/off switch for light in that room was kept in my father's room. Thus my father kept a continuous watch over me.
Only occasionally My father came to me. All the necessary dresses would be washed and given through the window. Home made food was not provided to me. The reason was that my father did not like to see my face or to come to me. Because he thought that Allah had cursed me as I was involved in some kind of act which was against Islam and that I have lost the glory. My father thought that if he looked at my face then he would also come under the curse. So once in a week or twice in a week my father would bring bread, (jam) Jelly or sandwich, place them through this window keeping his face turned to the other side.For six months I had not spoken to any human beings, I had not seen my father's face directly, I had not spoken to my mother. I had not seen my brothers. But that anguish could not overcome me because Holy Spirit was always with me as a good companion. There was pain, tension and mental anguish as I am only a human being. Every person who is in flesh will have pain and sorrow and that pain I also did have. But Holy Spirit did not allow that pain to over rule me as the word of God teaches us that in sorrow and distress He is the very present help and that word was with me. During night time when I lay down, I would not sleep but would be waiting until my father slept. Whenever I looked I would always see light in my father's room and also light would be in my room. So I did not get sleep quickly. Even If I fell asleep I wake up in panic. I could not pray because of my father's constant watching. My room was filled with Quran and Quran surahs and I was told to read those and enjoy.The Muslim Priests' advice to my father was, "when she is tired of sitting alone, what could she do? She will become her old self according to what we want her to become." But let me tell you dear friends, never did I feet lonely any time. At nights I had been encountering heavenly experiences through visions. I was experiencing the constant presence of Holy Spirit.Like this, almost six months might have passed. During night time I would cover myself from head to toe with the bed sheet given to me and praise God saying, "Jesus, I love you, I love you, you are my everything, you are my everything." Sometimes I would lay down and say like this, "Jesus if you give me wings like the birds', I could fly, fly and fly and come near you." One night while laying like this, I saw two dreams. One of the dreams was that which brought about mighty miracle that took place in my life. My first dream was like this: Two men of very beautiful countenance, having their faces shining, probably in their thirties, having hair up to their shoulder, wearing dress (made of either sac cloth or bark of tree) from their waist down, having entered in a river were standing there. One man was holding his hands up while the other person was going down into the water. I saw that when he came up out of the water, a bright light descending from above and fell on that man. It was the same experience which I had when Jesus came in my prayer room .When I saw that dream I thought, "what type of rite is this? As I did not have knowledge of Bible, I had no idea what type of rite it was? I asked, God, "These men are of which age? I feel that they lived many years ago in this world. They were very handsome looking. Why the same type of light which came down in the room where I was praying came down on this man who came out of the water ? So are you pleased in this act? Do you like this rite? If so, I would also like to do that. I also want to do that. Where should I go for that? How should I do that? what does it mean? please help me to understand it." I prayed like that.Let me say that if you are willing to obey His commandments, walk in His commandments and dedicate yourself to His will, then this presence of God will come down, this glory and this light will come down. This will never leave you and this presence will be with you and lead you to the fulfillment of this commandment.When I spoke about this dream, you have understood that I saw the baptism of Jesus in my dream. Jesus was taking baptism through John the Baptist in the Jordan river. When He was coming out of water, Holy Spirit came down from heaven in the form of a dove and a voice was heard, 'He is my beloved son in whom I am well pleased and listen to His voice.' This occurrence was what I saw in the dream. When we love God, God will show this type of dreams, revelations, directions, prophecies and will explain what to do, how to do, how to live, how to go ahead and the way by which we have to go.
I saw in my first dream Jesus was taking baptism from John the baptist. After praying regarding the dream asking God to help me and to prepare me for this, I slept and that night I saw another dream. The dream was like this, "from the same junction where I burned the Bible, I took a bus having the board showing destination as "Chinnakkada". I got down at Chinnakada where the bus stopped near a transformer and I walked along a concrete road which was going down. There I saw a banner showing, '40 days of fasting prayer and revival meetings ' and stood under that banner. I saw a hand calling me and heard a voice telling, "come here, come here". When I woke up I realized that God had shown me complete route with signs and directions where I have to go there. I had never gone through this route because I have gone only up to my school where my aunt lives near by. Chinnakkada is beyond that place. My place is Karingannoor. Chinnakkada is 60 kilometers from Karingannoor. Chinnakkada is a big city like Ernakulam. This city is 60 kilometers away and I had never gone there. But God showed me through the dream, how to go there with signs and directions.I said, Lord, if that ceremony which you showed me in my first dream is taking place in this place, I would like to go. Please help me to free myself from this imprisonment.When I woke up in the morning, my God made a way out within my house itself giving me a chance to fulfill both these dreams in my life. My mother's brother visited our house. There was a special function in my uncle's house and he wanted to take my father, our whole family and me with him. My father told him, "at that time we will come there." The special function was to take place ten days later. Then my uncle said, "You can come at that time, but allow Nazeela to come with me." My father said, "That is not possible She will be let out only on her wedding day. I have almost completed preparations for her marriage and when it is final I will let you know and that time you can see her." Then my uncle said, "OK then let me once see her and leave." My father said, "you are not to see her or speak to her." But my uncle once again insisted on seeing me. My father refused and my uncle got angry. They argued fiercely which turned in to a big fight so violent that they were pushing against each other.When I got up hearing this commotion, I reflected in my mind, "my father is a respectable person, an Imam that nobody even dared to speak to him. When he expresses his opinion even if a person did not like it, till that time, I have seen only people leaving the place without contradicting in any way. That's the way I had seen till that time. But now, if my uncle is creating this kind of problem, in my favor, I felt in my heart that God's hand is working behind this.I called for my father to come near me. When my father was approaching me, my uncle was leaving without even drinking a cup of water. When my father rushed to me, I told him, "Before uncle leaves, allow me to go with him. When you come back, you can take me with you. How long are you going to keep me locked up? Do you not have any love for me, Bapa? I started to plead in tears with my dad. My father looked at me and then said, "if you so much desire to go, hurry up, dress up. Your uncle is going towards bus stop. I will free you so that you could catch up before your uncle reaches the bus stop.Even up to a moment back, he was telling, "When the door will open it will only be on her wedding day to send her to another imprisonment." After marriage also there would be no freedom but the same type of imprisonment, the same type of small room prepared in the house of the Muslim priest who is about to marry me. The same person who was saying these things just a moment back had compassion on me just because of the grace of God. Bible says, "if God is for us who can be against us?"When I dressed up and came out, my father came rushing and opened the door, put some money in my hands and said, "run quickly to catch your uncle. I cannot call him back as he has left in anger toward me. Let me tell you my friend, if Jesus opens the door nobody can shut it.When I was rushing towards the bus station I felt a powerful burning sensation as if fire is burning in my heart because God made my father, who said that he will not open the door, to make him to open that door. God made the same person to open the door who had locked the door. I felt, "Oh, what a miracle this is?" I was running and was almost nearing the bus stop. I also looked and saw that now my father was not able to see me. I stood aside and prayed, "Jesus, I do not want to go with my uncle but please take me to the place where I could fulfill the dream which you showed me yesterday." I also prayed that when I reach the bus station, I should not see my uncle. When I reached there, I did not see my uncle. At the bus stop a bus was ready to leave. I ran to the front, looked at the board which read, 'Chinnakkada'. I hurriedly entered the bus. I told the conductor that I do not know the place and requested him to let me know when the bus reaches this place. The conductor said, "This is the last stop for this bus and so you can get down there." I got down near to a transformer. My heart started to burn again. Life started passing through my heart because what I saw was exactly same as what I saw in my dream. There was no difference. Not a single thing was different.Let me tell you my friends, no man need to tell us, no pastor need to preach to us, no scholar need to tell us, no prophet need to direct us, but if we depend on Holy Spirit, Holy spirit will be with us, will guide us where we should go, whether that is the right way.
When I reached the place called 'chinnakada' the place was exactly the same as the Lord showed me in my dream. When I was walking down on the concrete road, I saw a banner titled "40 days of fasting prayer and revival meetings." I thank God that God took me to the place where God's presence comes down and dwells in that place. I went there and stood under the banner thinking that someone would come and invite me in that meeting. But a group of people were praising God saying Hallelujah. This fasting meeting was in a temporarily made shed with coconut branches. Some people were standing, some were falling down, some were sitting, some were speaking something and were running, some were jumping, some were speaking in different languages and the sound of Jesus, Jesus was heard among them. When I saw it, I felt awefull. I thought Oh, What happened to these people, but they are calling the name of Jesus? I thought, what is happening among them and started to look carefully. Because they were running and jumping here and there I looked on the floor thinking if there were any critters at the floor. But when I looked more carefully, I saw the same light which came down in my prayer room and it was shining around and among them like a rotating torch light.In one jump I entered inside that meeting place because I felt that the God who brought me here is in it, His presence is among them. As I said earliar that this presense of God is among them those who gather in the name of Jesus and those who praise God. With our natural eyes we can see many things but let me tell you when our spiritual eyes are opened we can experience God's presence. When I was running and entering inside the room, I felt as if electric current has passed from my feet. I thought that there may be electric wiring under the floor or my feet might have touched some kind of live wire hidden under the carpet. But current passed from my feet and a power ran upwords in my feet. I lost my power to stand and I was thrown few times and fell near the pulpit. As I laid there some unknown language which I could not control myself started to flow out of my mouth with power.Seeing this everyone stood up because I was wearing black Muslim dress. The servant of God of that congregation also stood up and said everyone to praise God. He said that when he was praying at night, he saw a vision that a Muslim girl who was wearing black Muslim dress came among them and was praising God. When I prayed to God that, "if you can remove this imprisonment, I can go" this is what happened. My Lord, after showing me in my dream the place where I had to go, went straight to this man of God's prayer room (to inform him that I was coming). Because nobody, no human help was there who could have took me to this place and introduced me saying that this is Nazeela Beevi and how she knew God, nobody was there so He (Jesus) went before me. I had only Jesus to lean on Him who created the universe. I knew through this experience that if that God has called me He is faithful to lead me till the end. Then the man of God said because God has sent you here we are recieving you. After this whatever trouble comes it's not a big deal for us because our Lord who sent you here will take care of them. I stayed ten days there. Ten days I fasted and prayed. I heard the messages of Bible and I took the class for water baptism. After ten days the fast would be over and that day many others were also taking baptism so they thought to give me baptism too. When prophets use to come they were declaring the great works of God which will take place through me. They said that the horrible and very hard battle is ahead of me. The problems which are unbearable to handle are going to come. The incidence are ahead of you that could destroy you totally and could break you down. But as long as you are filled with the Holy Spirit and if you stay fully anointed this anointing will go with you and help you to face those troubles. When they said this I told, "Jesus your anointing is enough for me and if I have to die for your name's sake I am even willing to die for you." Whatever I prayed God was listning to those prayers and God was looking what was in my heart. On tenth day when I was taking baptism a group of people came from my home and they forcefully took me. Because when my dad knew that I did not reach my uncle's house he planned many things through witchcraft and he could know that I came here. When my dad went to bus station and enquired about me the conductor of the bus said if she was wearing a black Muslim dress then she boarded the particular bus and got down in this place. When my dad came here he could see the worship was going on. My dad figured out that most probably I came here because when he asked the Muslim Priests and they said that, there is a center of attraction ring (magnatic power which is enveloping her) and she went there. When my father came he could see the various signs regarding the Attraction ring center which he heard from those Imams. So he came searching for me but did not come inside and call me but returned back and prepared witchcraft related things. He invited all the Muslim Priests and he invited all the Imams of the Mosque where my father worked as priest. He invited all the Muslims. So around two thousand people were gathered there and he invited the Priest (Imam) who was supposed to marry me. Then after all these preparations were done he sent people to kidnap me. They came when I was standing in the baptism tank and was about to take the baptism. They forcefully took me and forced me into a car and they brought me to my home.
When they brought me home this was the scene I saw. Both sides of my home were decorated with grand tents. They brought me inside my home, purified me, burnt down my dress which I was wearing, put on me new dress and adorned me as bride. Then they brought me in front of them and my father said, "daughter, you had been among kafeers(infidle) all these days, you did as they did and called the name of their God but now Baapa (father) has forgiven everything. Though Baapa has forgiven all those things yet you have to do one more thing then only Allah would forgive you. You have to recant Jesus and admit that Jesus is not God. Then you have to say the faith verse (Shahadat-Kalaam) of Muslims that Allah is the only God and rinse your mouth with water, purify your mouth and accept Allah as your only God and you have to turn to Muslim faith again. When above things are done then only marriage cermony can be performed. If I had to say the faith verse which my father spoke then I had to renounce Jesus. So I told my father, "Baapa, I cannot renounce Jesus". Why? My father asked. I answered because Jesus is God. He is alive. Then he said,"daughter, Christians say these baseless things, there is no such Jesus, don't believe in their words.." and he started to say Quran Surahs. I said, "It was not told to me by Christians, Baapa, but when I was praying in my room, Jesus came down in my room and He Himself talked to me. When I said like that, my father said, "it never can happen but Eblis has created hallucination and made you to think like this. He also said that these type of things does not happen. I asked my father to explain who this Eblis is and how he looks like? Then he said, I have not seen him but I can say for sure that he has black figure and fierce in his countenance. He is ferocious and full of darkness." I said, "who spoke to me is not what you have explained to me but He is glorious and very beautiful man." My father was unable to say anything. But still he said, no daughter, Jesus is not God. You should not call Jesus. I said, "though I die, still I cannot stop calling Jesus and by renouncing Jesus I cannot live in this world. When I said like this, my father again asked, "Do you firmly believe that Jesus is God?" I said, "Yes". Is Jesus God? Yes... again and again he asked and finally he got angry. When again and again he asked, Is Jesus God?, and when everytime I answered Jesus is God, Jesus is God, he asked last time and before my answer comes out of my mouth he slapped on my mouth so that I could not reply. I felt dizzy. He said, now tell me, Is Jesus God? Even then I said, Jesus is God. Because of pain due to slap I cried and said, "Jesus is God."I could not deny Jesus because the truth that Jesus is God was filled in my blood vessels and it was flowing through and in my body. How could have I spoken that Jesus is not God?He slapped on my face again and again. Teeth fell on the ground. When I saw the blood in fear I cried out, Jesus! When I cried out Jesus, my father got angry. He pulled the iron rod with which the petromax (paraffin lamp) was hanging above. He threw the petromax and removed iron rod and started to beat on my head with it. My head was broken here and there. Till this date I have deep scars of those beatings. In my left side eye I received 3-4 beatings and I felt as if my eye had came out. I lost my eye sight. Eight years I had no eye sight in my left eye. When I tried to prevent beatings on my face and head with my hand, my fingers received beating and all the bones of fingers were broken and my fingers twisted. My hand was twisted when I received beating in my wrist joint. As I ran outside, my father threw a big knife and it hit my right leg and broke my leg bone. My hand, fingers of both hands and right leg were broken.I lived like that for two years. But the same Jesus who healed blind, lame and lepers gave life to my broken limbs and I could experience His healing power in my life two years after this incident. The reason was that if I had to declare among my people that Jesus is God, these miracles should take place. To these miracles to take place my fingers should have broken. My hand was twisted so that these miracle shold take place. Because it is a witness for them. Because my father saw me walking as a lame person and saw my bone was broken. If my family had to come to know Jesus, I had to shed my blood there.All the blood of my body was shed there. I felt as if I will die. My father said, according to Quran if a person left Islam and did not come back, he/she should be killed, that I am going to do it today. He held my neck but Muslim priests prevented him and said, you should not do anything because you alone is not but we also have to go to prison. At present we cannot do according to the Quran. In India we are not allowed to do according to our scripture, so please do not do anything. When they were speaking like this, I laughed in my heart thinking that they keep aside scripture to follow the law of the country. When I was in the church for ten days, I studied in John chapter 16 that, the time is coming that whoever kills you will think that he offers God service. When my father was trying to kill me I said, Lord, my father is offering service to his god but I give my spirit for you completely. For your name's sake I dedicate my life for you. My father did according to the words of Muslim priest and he draged me and threw me outside of my home. It was evening. He said, go wherever you want, you should not be seen in front of my eyes. We do not want to see even your shadow. Go and die wherver you want. If anything happens to you we have nothing to do with it. Because Allah has rejected you, I am also rejecting you. Thus saying my father went back.
My father went back and as I laid on the road outside of my home, nobody was there to see me also my voice was not coming out of my mouth because my father hurt my neck while he was trying to kill me. I felt as if I had internal injury in my neck. My tongue was dried up and I longed that someone could give me little water. My both ears had lost hearing power to hear any voice except echoing sound. Because of the repetitive beating on my ears there was no ability to hear any voice except an echoing sound. Because of broken bones in my legs and hands there was severe pain and numbness which I could feel even in my brain. The pain was so unbearable that at times I felt losing my consciousness and I felt dizzy at times. Then I began to think, how big the pain and sufferings my Jesus had to endure. As I began to think like that, at the very moment His agony on the cross, all the sufferings and pain came in front of me. In the streets of Jerusalem, bearing a cross on His back, beaten up by the soldiers, falling down and getting more beatings to make Him stand, again beaten up when he falls down, He stands up by receiving beatings, again falls down, again stands up and again falls down, like this He was dragging the cross and was like a broken bread He was breaking down. His blood was shedding again and again and He was dragging Himself with the cross on Him, yet He could say to those women who were weeping, "O daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me but weep for your children.." In the moments of agony and pain, this scene of Jesus was revealed to me in my heart. There was a moment when I saw glorious and beautiful Jesus in my prayer room but now in the midst of my troubles His agonizing and distorted figure who was about to be crucified and His blood was falling from different parts of His body, blood was clotted in some places and His hairs of beard were pulled apart from here and there, that scene came in front of me. When I saw that distorted figure of Jesus when He was about to be crucified, a life began to surge through in to my spirit. The reason is that because of His sacrifice on the cross He gave eternal life to this world and His presence came in my spirit as a new life. Then in my heart I realized that Jesus was faithful until death, He died on the cross, redeemed people, crushed the head of devil and on the third day He rose up and fulfilled His work on the cross and risen again then there is a resurrection for me. My heart came to this assurance that I will complete the work which God has given me. God has given me the responsibility to go to different parts of the world where He sends me and reveal that Jesus is God. So I dragged myself forward. As I was dragging myself, I saw a house and a telephone booth nearby. I entered in the telephone booth and called the Pastor's daughter. This is the same Pastor's daughter of the congregation where I spent ten days. She had heard from God so she taught me how to telephone her and told me if you are in any danger please call and let us know. So they came and took me in their car. That day itself my father's priestly post was gone because he was removed from being Muslim Priest. After that he never became a Muslim Priest. My household was in trouble because half of the property which was in my name was given to Mosque. So people from Mosque asked to perform rights of after death for me. When a Muslim dies then 3rd day and 40th day were observed as mourning days. So my father performed all these rituals and by doing this, he erased all the evidence that I am alive. Though he did all these things yet people in my Mosque had no peace. They told my father that if he needs their help then he should find out where am I and bring me back. She should not be allowed to live specially with Christian. She should not be allowed because she is going to speak against us and against Islam. She will preach or Christians will make her to preach against Islam. But let me tell you my friend that God has separated me and gave me privilege not to speak against Islam but to bring those who are perishing to the way of eternal life. So my father started to seek me. My father came to know that I had called from the telephone booth and he came to know that where I was staying and because of that those who were looking after me could not take me to the hospital but they hid me secretly and they themselves bound my wounds. so my wounds could not get healed properly. My broken bones stayed broken. One day they heard the news that my family would be here so they took me to the home of another servant of God. There also my family came so they moved me to another believer's house. They moved me again to one another home. Like this they were keep moving me from one home to another home by changing my name, my dress and secretly, hiding and moving me in the evenings and in the nights when nobody could see me. And they took care of me. But it was a great mental stress for me. Some times I stayed in one place for two days, and in another place for a week and in another place three months. When I start to live with a family and just start getting to adjust with their lifestyle, I would be moved to another place. When I get accustomed with second family, I would be moved again. A great and unbearable mental pain filled my soul because of all these things. Yet in those moments also God's presence was with me.
Holy Spirit was building me to enable me to live under any circumstance. He was shaping me up just as a potter would give shape to his potteries. Today I am able to understand why God had taken me to different places at times. Because the food for which I am accustomed to, I may not have at Trivandrum. God trained me even in those days to adjust myself to every environment and to have all types of food. He built me even at that time. In that way God accepted me. But my father and his friends were unable to get hold of me. At that time a servant of God had the vision that if he came across an orphan, a poor person wandering without help he has to give shelter to the person in his home. At that time this person came to know about me when people were asking, "who will give her shelter, who will give her shelter?" According to that vision I was given shelter in his house. He and his wife both are servants of God. They took care of me for six month.When I was living with them my father thought in his heart that those who were giving me shelter are high ranking wealthy people. But in fact in those times I was given shelter by poor Christians who were laborers but who loved the Lord. God gave that type of thought in my father's heart and because of that he filed a case against me. In that case he brought all the evidences against those who gave me shelter accusing them that I was kidnapped by them and made to change my religion. He produced false evidence that I studied in an Arabic college. He proved that my age would be only fifteen by adding the date of my disappearance to the date of admitting to the college. But at that time I was twenty years old. I can only tell by my mouth that I was twenty years old but I had no evidence to prove that I was twenty years old. So they called me in the police station to settle the case. Police officers said to me, "child, these are your parents. If you walk like this talking about Jesus that He is God and so on, your life will be spoiled." They told me to go with my parents. I said, "I can go, but I cannot deny my Jesus." Father was insisting to deny Jesus at that very moment and then only I can go with him. I said, "I can come, but I will not renounce Jesus." At that time settlement of the case did not materialize. Then my father said, "let us do one thing, she is not denying Christ on the strength of the support of Christians and because of that she is not denying Christ. Something has to be done so that Christians could not support her or give her shelter. Then she will leave Christianity. So he asked not to settle the case there but to let it go to the court. My father's intention was this. Because my age has been established as fifteen, the court will ask me to go with my parents. Evidence of age has already been presented in the court. If I refuse to go, either the court or the police have to give me shelter or I may be sent to rescue home. Because court has such rule that until a child is mature he/she should be sent to some shelter. If it happens then Christians could not support me and I will not have their support. By that time doing some manipulations he thought that he could take me home. My father planned like this.So the case went to court. But let me tell you that though all the evidences were in favor of my father and all against me, but Jesus who is the true God was with me as true God. And because of that He turned all those false evidences in my favor.The case was argued for six months in the court. And my father's attorney was highly skillful in his job. My father spent lot of money in that. But let me tell you my friends, no matter how much money you spend, no matter how much family pride you may have, if Jesus is with you, if Jesus' presence is with you, money cannot destroy His presence, family glory cannot take away His presence and cannot stop His work. Because God told me from the book of Amos 5:24, My judgment would run down as waters and righteousness as a mighty stream. We read in Amo 5:24, “But let judgment run down as waters, and righteousness as a mighty stream.” Yes, No money could ever stop His judgment, no position or family status could ever do it, no authority could ever achieve it, no law could do it, I can declare it by my own experience. I did not have education, I did not have wisdom, I did not have evidence, I did not have people who could witness for me, I do not have anybody or anything but His divine judgment was running down as water for me and because of that they could not stop His work of judgment for me. For six months they argued the case in court. During those six months God was giving me assurance through His word as I said above. On the sixth month I lost the case, my father won. But when the time came for the issue of verdict, it was time for the court to go on vacation. Then the judge said, "at this time verdict can be given and we can hand over your daughter to you. But before handing over to you, we have to clear the record and keep complete record of, how the case came, how it was argued, and how we arrived at a settlement. All the records are available here but we have to finalize the records to be kept here. To do that it will take more time." So the court adjourned after fixing a date to meet next month.My father went back happily because he won the case except for a delay of one month. While returning home I wept bitterly sitting in bus and asking God, "Oh God, Is it not you who told me that your judgment would run down as water? My family would come next month to take me home, what is your aim... would I face defeat?"
When I was crying thinking about all those things, Holy Spirit told me, "In the same way as I had worked mending and strengthening your body of broken bones, I will be working in the hearts of the authorities turning their heart in your favor."I would like to explain for hours together how the Holy Spirit came down giving life to my broken bones and limbs. I fasted twice first for ten days and the 2nd time for twenty one days. It was on those occasions that I experienced the presence of God. The first time I fasted and prayed sitting in a Church for ten days. At that time my fingers were bent up and my hand was twisted. Two years passed In this way, for taking food somebody had to place a spoon between my bent up fingers with which I would put food into my mouth some of it will go in and some out, for dressing somebody had to help me, for walking somebody had to support me or I had to use a cane or otherwise I would fix my left leg firmly and with both my hands I would lift my right leg and move it further and thus I would crawl dragging myself. This happened to me as my bones were broken because of taking the name of Jesus. But while I was in that fasting prayer of ten days, a servant of God came there. He said, "Let us praise God working the instrument of ten strings using all our ten fingers. Let us clap our hands and worship Him." Everybody started worshipping God. But my hands were not strong enough. I started crying and said, "Lord, I am not able to worship you as these people are doing. It was for you that my bones were broken. When I was crying like this, I felt that my whole body was shaking as if somebody was shaking me up. I opened my eyes and I felt that this shaking was spreading through my bones. Then I observed that the shaking spread through the bones, entered the fingers which had remained immovable and bent up for two years. Now the fingers started shaking and those bent up fingers began opening up.Everybody had stopped worshipping, stopped clapping their hands and yet I continued worshipping and speaking in tongues. When the pastors observed me, they saw that my fingers have opened up and saw that I was clapping with my hands. They were all wonderstruck. All of them came running and examined me. They asked me to walk, but I was still lame. They asked me, "Has not your legs been healed? I said, "I prayed for my hands only. I forgot about my legs."Next month I fasted for twenty one days. At that time a great faith filled my soul and I believed, "Today I will get healing in my leg. Last month God performed a miracle and in that miracle I believed." Everybody was standing and they were dancing just like David who danced before the ark of the Lord. I was standing leaning on the wall. When I was standing I said in my heart, "Jesus, when Peter and John were walking towards the temple called beautiful, a man lame from his birth asked for alms from them and when he looked expecting to receive something from them, Peter said, "Silver and gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk." By saying this he took him by the right hand and lifted him up. And immediately his feet and ankle bones received strength. So he, leaping up, stood and walked and entered the temple with them--walking, leaping, and praising God." I am telling this from Acts 3rd chapter. I was saying this portion of the Bible while standing leaning on the wall. After saying that I said, "the same power which worked in the name of Jesus at that time should flow through my leg" and I lifted my leg. I only knew that I lifted my leg, but I felt as if I was thrown away. I started to run and walk. At that time, the experience I had was as if one bone of the leg was lifting up and one bone came down and both joined together. Even today I have the mark of the scars in my leg from the knife thrown at me, but my Lord gave me the grace to walk freely without laming.And God promised to work in the hearts of authorities in the same way as He worked in my body.
And God promised to work in the hearts of authorities in the same way as the above experience. I came back home. In the next month I fasted for seven days. After two days I had to go to court. On the seventh day of my fast, I could not get sleep. And I said to the Lord, "please give me a rough idea of how you will be working, because the attorney appointed by my father would cross-examine me and without my knowledge I could say something unwisely. Then he will say, "look, this girl is only fifteen years old, she is not a major and that's why she does not understand the question and does not know how to answer correctly. So I asked God to give me a rough idea of how He is going to work in this case. Then suddenly I got an idea that if I go to my school, I could get my certificate and if I show that they will know that I am twenty years old. If court understands that I am twenty years old, then they will allow me to go according to my will. Then I thought that this may be a vain thinking because if I go there, my family will kill me. The school is near to my home. Those who know me and those who know my father are numerous in that area. If they inform my father, he would take me home. Even many who came to the court had warned me not to go out alone as my father had plan to secretly take me, hide me and to place the blame on the servants of God who is taking care of me.But when I was praying, Holy Spirit gave me a verse from the Bible. Let me tell you that the Spirit of God speaks in different ways. He speaks directly, He speaks through His word, He speaks through a man, He speaks through a wicked person. He speaks as He spoke to Balaam through a donkey.At that time Proverbs 21:1 came in my mind which says, "The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD, Like the rivers of water; He turns it wherever He wishes." So I thought, "if I go to my school, God will turn the hearts of school authorities in my favor and I will get my certificate. They will sign it and give it to me." I was worried how to ask for the certificate, how to apply for it? It was at that time that God gave me this verse.But I did not have that much faith. How could I go alone to school? I was afraid as I had gone through so much of sufferings. So I opened the Bible and read from Isaiah 55:10 onwards. The verses 55:10-11 impressed me deeply in my heart which says, "For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven, And do not return there, But water the earth, And make it bring forth and bud, That it may give seed to the sower and bread to the eater, So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; It shall not return to Me void, But it shall accomplish what I please, And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it."When I read those verses, I knew with confidence that God had started working from that night itself. In the morning I woke up and asked the servant of God, not on the assurance of anybody but solely on the assurance of the word of God, to arrange for a vehicle to go to my school. She asked, why? When I told her about those verses, revelations and vision, she said that it is the will of God and asked me to go ahead with my plan. When I neared my school I saw my school teacher standing near the gate. When she saw the car entering inside, she came running, stopped the car and said, "Do not bring the car inside, but park by that side." At that time I was rolling the glass of window down. She looked at me through the glass, came running, put her head inside the car through the open window and asked, "Are you not Nazeela Beevi?" I said, "yes, but teacher, how did you recognize me?" Ignoring my inquiry She said, "park the car by that side I am coming". The car was parked and she came running, entered the car and said, "Do not open the door. Do not roll down the window glass. Also do not come out of the car." I again asked her, "teacher, tell me how you recognized me?" She asked me instead, "did you recognize me?" When I looked at her carefully, I realized that she was my class teacher in 6th grade. She is a Christian. She often observed me. Because I wore black covered dress, my face was also covered. Often the students who sat beside me would lift up my veil and look at my face. Then I used to complain to the teacher and she would look at me in a funny way. She remembered those moments. She loved me greatly. That teacher told how some days back, my father came to the school and created great upheaval, disturbance and problems in the school. Thinking, that as the court is going to give judgment in his favor, on the suggestion of advocate I may go to school for getting the certificate my father came to school asking for the certificate. But school authorities did not give him. They said, "according to you she is your daughter, but certificate can be given only if she is here." So my father came to an agreement with them that if they are giving the certificate to me they should give only after informing my father. Also my father had arranged through his brother who is in school not to issue the certificate to me. Thus what I heard appeared to be contrary to the promises which was revealed to me by the Lord. But I was not discouraged. Instead, the assurance of the word of God came into my heart. Because through my experience I have learnt that the saying 'word of God is the hammer that breaks and shatters rock' is true.But the teacher told me that she was eager to give me that certificate because of what happened to her the last night. She said that she could not get sleep. When asked, why? She said, "When this argument was going on, a thought came into my mind that because you loved the Lord, if I did not give you the certificate, perhaps one day God will ask me and accuse me. But where could I find you? If your family members come to know they will kill me. They will torture my family. I know how they had treated those who had given you shelter and supported you. This thought was the reason that I could not get sleep." I said, "teacher, it was not because of your thought that you lost your sleep. Yesterday night, the Lord told me that He will turn the hearts of authorities in my favor. Because of that, the presence of God filled your room and that was why you lost your sleep." God says that His word will not return without completing His work.The teacher took my signature in a white paper. She herself wrote my application. She has the authority to work regarding the certificate. She went to the office room to prepare that transfer certificate in my name. She purchased document paper in my name, wrote my name and address, father's name and other details etc. and prepared the transfer certificate for 7th class. Now the signature of the headmaster was required at the bottom of the certificate. She told me that if the headmaster notices the stamp of the Government, he will get suspicious and then he will read towards the bottom and he will recognize you and inform your father. So pray that he may not notice it. Now he is busy with his work and so when I take this to him for signature, pray that he does not notice the symbol of Govt. and put his signature in between his busy rush of work.I prayed, "Lord it was you who told me that you will be turning the hearts of authorities, now Lord, speak to the heart of the headmaster. When the teacher put up the certificate before the head master, he was signing the school papers after carefully reading every paper not simply signing. But he did not notice the government symbol on this paper. Below the stamp he did not notice my name and address or my father's name or anything else. He signed at the bottom of the certificate and gave it back to the teacher. Let me tell you that no employer would put their signature without carefully going through the papers. But let me tell you that Holy Spirit blinded his eyes and made him to put his signature on that paper. Bible tells us that this world is under the hands of the wicked. This world's lord is Satan and this world is under his hands. You and I who live in this world, the almighty God who created us is obliged to execute righteous judgments for us. So if we serve the Lord faithfully, He is able to bring it to pass so that this world's authorities would come in favor of us.So I came back home with the certificate in my hands.
So I came back home with the certificate in my hand.
When I came to the Attorney with that certificate, he said, "I now realize that the Jesus about whom you speak is a miracle worker. Tomorrow in the court, first there will be an argument. This is the proof of that." When I was getting ready to go to court next morning I had a slight burden in my heart because if the name of the teacher is revealed, my family members would kill her or persecute her. I said like this, "Lord, give me the wisdom that when the attorney appointed by my father cross-examines me, I should not inadvertently reveal the identity of the teacher, who helped me to obtain the certificate. While saying this I was reading my Bible from Luke 12:11-12 where it says, "Now when they bring you to the synagogues and magistrates and authorities, do not worry about how or what you should answer, or what you should say. For the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say."
When I was reading those verses, I felt the mighty power of Holy Spirit hovering over me. Even when I was in court, when my name was called and when I stood in the witness stand, I was experiencing the presence of Holy Spirit.Judge heard the argument about me and saw the certificate. All those who were present there looked at me intently. The Judge asked me to explain the meaning of what I said in detail. I said, "In the beginning God created heaven and earth. Earth was formless and void. God built the earth and formed the Garden of Eden in it. With His own hands He created Adam and Eve. Every day in the evening He dwelt with them. But they ate the fruit of the forbidden tree. By disobeying they broke the law of God. The glory of God left them. God cursed them. God desired to bring them back. But Adam and Eve's children were already in sin and because there was not a single righteous person from generation after generation, my God Himself came down in the form of a man and died for the human beings. Unless one believes in Him, he/she cannot enter into heaven, It was on this day in the court that I started my Gospel preaching. Looking at the faces of those who did not know Jesus, I declared, "Jesus is the living God and if you do not accept Him, you cannot enter into heaven. God gave me that authority to speak about Him there. Because Holy Spirit Himself said when I was going out of my home that He will teach what I have to speak. Holy Spirit desires to send this wisdom and this authority to the servants of God. If we want the word of God preached by the apostles to work as it did in the first century with signs and wonders, to happen now at this present age we have to attain the strong and mighty anointing of the fire of the Holy Spirit.Then the judge said, "India is a democratic country. You are twenty years old and any person who lives in India has the freedom to believe in any religion and because of that this court authorizes you to live as a Christian." My God came down to give me authority to serve Jesus through an authority of this world which is under the administration of the wicked saten. My God's righteous judgment had not ceased. At the time when I lived in hiding, by chance when a Muslim brother or sister happened to see me outside, I had the experience of them turning against me, throwing stones at me, catching me by the hair twisting it and pulling, spitting on my face, tearing my cloth, beating me and driving me away. These members of the mosque were waiting to catch me. But my God brought an end to those things there in the court.The court asked me whether I would like to go with my parents. I said that I would like to. The court said that I am free to go with them and further said that then there is no problem as the case was filed by them to have you with them. Now you are free to go with them. Then he called my father and told him, "Do not make any quarrel or create any problem as your daughter is ready to go with you. So you can take her with you. My father got violent, very angry and shouted, "I do not want her, Let that haraami child go wherever she wants. I did not give birth to a Christian but to a Muslim. If she comes as a Muslim and if the court released her like that I could accept her. The court said, "She is your daughter, you have to take her with you. She wants to come with you." But my father refused and created a great commotion there. Then he called my mother and said, "Is she not your daughter? She is ready to come with you. At least you agree to take her, let the case be finalized here." Then my mother said, "What I have to say is the same reply as of her father. I gave birth to a Muslim and not to a Christian. So I do not want her." That day my God taught me the lesson or made me to think that those who birthed me can forget me and yet my creator cannot forget me. In accordance with circumstance, those who give birth will forget, those who have been loving us, those who have been helpful, those who have been organizing, those who have given word that they will be always with us, all of them would change their position. But God who created us, who built us molded and fashioned us cannot change because our spirit (inner soul) is more valuable than the whole world. That is God's own. God wants that to go to Him for which He is molding us. Realizing this fact we have to open our hearts to Him so that He can prepare us. Then the court said to my father, "if you are not ready to take her that's OK, but you have to write here and sign. You have to write like this, that you are declaring that she is not your daughter, that because she became a Christian you are not opposing it, that from today, you or your people will not harm her for this reason. Write it down, sign it and leave this place without saying a word. Thus my God turned my mourning into dancing just as He did for Esther and the Israelites in the Book of Esther. Thus my Lord gave me freedom. If on that day judgment had gone in the favor of my father, it would have been complete disaster. My father had come with great plans. He had taken a hotel room at Tambanoor and decorated it in a grand way to arrange for my wedding ceremony there. His plan was to get my marriage ceremony completed in a hurry, without insisting on the condition of denying Jesus this time, and then to take me to the house of the person who was supposed to marry me, keep me locked up there, torture me painfully almost to the point of death, and thus persuade me to give up Jesus and go back to Islam. They came with this planning. But let me tell you, that against the children of God, who have been called by God for Gospel work or whom God has sealed for His work, no matter who may plot evil, no matter whoever may try to implement his wicked and cunning project, my God will not allow it to succeed.
Those who are called by God or whom God has sealed, no matter who plots evil, no matter who plans or tries to implement his wicked plot, my God will not allow it to happen as they are the children of God.But my father did not keep quiet. I came back home and lived with the same man of God’s family. A few days later we were in our family prayer and we experienced the mighty anointing of God. At that time we heard some commotion outside the house. We tried to figure out what that was? A group of youngsters who are in the habit of disturbing prayer meetings had come to create trouble here also. My father had secretly befriended them giving them money and had deputed them to work on his behalf and to fulfill his plot. We did not have any information about this because my father had done it secretly as he could not do it openly. They created an uproar there and spread suspicious news falsely saying, "these people do illegal acts here. One young girl is involved whose whereabouts as to who she is, from where she came, etc, are not known." They demanded and shouted saying that I should be sent out. This happened daily and because of the disturbance the residents of the colony filed a complaint to the village administrator. The village president came to inquire. He asked questions, "from where this girl is?, who is she?, what is her address?, what type of girl is she? Then he asked me in a derogatory manner, "Why are you staying here? Don't you have your home? Why can't you go there? The residents of the colony said, "Either you move out from this place or send this girl to her house or to any orphanages etc. We don't want this problem to continue and disturb the atmosphere here.That night while praying, I asked God, "How much more suffering I have to endure for your name? How long will this suffering be? I do not have any desire to live, I want to die as soon as possible. Can you not take me Lord? When I prayed like that, suddenly God spoke to me and said, "Be quiet and know I am God." Today God wants us to keep quiet and know that He is God. If we work depending on our strength, on our wisdom, on our understanding or in our own way, God cannot work for us. He will not come down to help us. But we have to remain quiet and calm and patiently face that problem, bearing it and carrying it. From my own experience I can conclusively say that then God will come down revealing His presence, His strength and His power.Then God said, "thousands will fall at your left side, ten thousands would fall at your right side but they will not come near you. Then I felt that thousands and ten thousands who will come to harm me but the presence of God will be with me which would scatter them on my both sides. Thus I was courageous. I was shifted to another place. When the same problem was repeated in that place also, nobody came forward to support me and to settle the matter. Instead of helping me, those who were supposed to be beloved to me, came into agreement with my father. Those on whom I had kept my confidence contacted my father. Because of the influence of my father, or because of the instigation of the demonic forces which wanted me not to rise up, which wanted to completely destroy and make me ineffective, they turned against me. They contacted my father and they succumbed to the temptation of the reward my father had promised and they came ready to catch me and take me back to him. They came with a vehicle and said, "your father will not give you any trouble. There is no problem in going to him. He wants you to go to him. It is painful for them that you suffer like this here. They are worried about you." The people around that place also advised me insisting on my going to my father saying, "why should you live here like this suffering injustice for the crime you have not committed? They tried to drag me and push me into the vehicle. Then I said, "I shall come with you, but let me take one moment to pray." I entered my room and prayed kneeling on my knees. While praying, Holy Spirit inspired me to read Isaiah 43rd chapter verses 2 and downward. I read that portion. which says, " When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you."Then I thought, "I will have to face problems like waters and rivers but God will be with me."My father said goodbye to those who brought me to my home, sent them away and came back. I was standing in front of the house not entering inside the house because, while viewing the whole ground in front of me, I remembered how I shed my blood all over that ground and left the place, in fact, I was driven out from there, thinking, "Now Lord, still what kind of catastrophe is going to happen to me?" My father saw me standing outside. (If the neighbors notice, my father would be in trouble as he had brought me secretly.) So my father said in anger, "Are you standing here to show yourself to the neighbors?" Saying this, he caught hold of my hair and pushed me to go inside the house saying, 'go inside' While being pushed, I struck against the wall and fell down. When I called 'Jesus' he came running, trampled on my mouth closing my mouth with his foot and said, "Dont call this Jesus. hereafter. If He is God, if He is powerful as you say, He would not have allowed you to be brought here. So forget about Him.Then my father informed the people of the Mosque and tried to arrange my marriage. I told my father, "Twice you made arrangements for my marriage spending so much money, but marriage did not happen because my God did not like it. So I believe that if God has kept a marriage for me, then He will prepare a man who will be of help in my ministry for God's work. Otherwise I will not marry a Muslim priest."Hearing this, my father became very angry. Then lot of striking, pulling and pushing took place between us and every time my father continued to say, "oh, yea, I will allow you to marry a Christian, may be if you go to court, court may make arrangements for your marriage... Like that if you marry a Christian and harami children are born who will be going against Islam, those Christian children bringing about curse being heaped and ever increasing in my family from generation to generation which I cannot allow. Saying this he kicked me repeatedly with his legs and I was in great pain. I felt terrible pain in my stomach and I fell down unconscious. What happened after that was what I learnt from my parents and from some other people and not from my memory.When I fell down unconscious, they looked at me and thought that I had died because blood from my body had spread out in the whole room. When they looked they saw my womb was disordered because of my father's repeated kicking in my stomach. My father got afraid because if people come to know that I had died, police will arrest him. He told my mother not to scream, bound her mouth with a cloth and kept her tied up in the room. He took my brothers from school to relative's house because he feared that as my brothers were small kids they may let out the secret. He locked the room from outside. He had already told everyone that they were going on vacation.They remained inside the house. By that time it was night. My father cleaned the room wiping away all the blood. He put my body in a sack, took it to the river called Ithikkara, which flows by the side of the house, dumped there, and returned back.
My father put me in a sack, carried my body to ithikkara river which flows by the side of our home, dumped the body in the river and returned back home. This was the time when the Word of God, "When you go through waters, I will be with you. The river will not drown you." spoken by God to me had worked for me. We may think that what was told by God through the prophets then, that is, long back were written in accordance with the circumstance at that time or in response to the context of those days. But let me tell you that the words of God contained in the Bible are powerful enough to work effectively in the lives of people in all the areas of their lives, in all aspects, as long as the world exists, as long as human beings are there in this world. Let us glorify God because He has given this Bible to us. The word of God gives us life.This was the thought which came into my mind when I regained consciousness. I lost consciousness again when I was still in the water. The pain in my lover stomach where injury took place was so unbearable that I lost consciousness. But when I again opened my eyes, I was in a hospital bed. A social worker who came to the river for taking bath happened to see the bundle which appeared to him as a dead body wrapped in sack cloth which had settled by the shore. When he tried to push it along the flow of the river, he heard a sound of movement. He brought his wife and they secretly put me in a vehicle and took me to the casualty ward of the hospital called Kollam Upasana and then they stood aside because they were afraid to record that they brought me there. The reason was that if they said in what condition they found me, then they will have to inform police, will have to file a case and to face all those problems. They were not prepared to go through that trouble. So they did this much only and stood aside.At this time when the doctors came, I was in such a critical stage that I could die any moment. Immediate treatment was necessary. Otherwise I will die. But they were afraid to take my case because they did not know who brought me. There was no indication of why? and what? There was no name in the charge sheet. They inquired from the hospital authorities what to do? The authorities directed them to inform the municipality and that they will be arranging for her burial in the grave yard and till then to put her somewhere on one side of the hospital.Only after seeing and hearing all these things, the couple who brought me in the hospital returned back. But my God had kept a very great provision for me in that place. One doctor who had been serving the Lord was working among them for several years. He got the opportunity to go to a foreign land. He made all the preparations for going. His flight was at 4 O'clock and that evening he had kept a prayer meeting in his house. He had come there to invite those who worked with him. It was at that time that he saw this incident. When he came running and examined my pulse he felt that treatment has to be given to me. Holy Spirit intervened and spoke to the doctor, “She is a person who knows the Lord, you should give her treatment, I will be with you." Though all the doctors and nurses objected to treat me, he alone all by himself took me to the ICU unit and gave oxygen through my nose. After some time my consciousness returned and I started to breath. When I was able to speak he asked me my whereabouts. When I told him the details he asked me whether I have any relatives who could be contacted. He said that one surgery has to be done to remove the uterus which was absolutely necessary as it has been completely infected with pus formation because the broken area was under water. He said that if I have any relative he will be contacting them. He also said that surgery will be performed free of cost. But I said, "I do not have anybody, if any of them would come and see me, they will create more trouble for me than before." When I said that, he was unable to take responsibility of me. Further he had to leave at 4 O' Clock. He himself got permission from the other doctors that I may be allowed to lie in the hallway near the mortuary with the understanding that when I get well so that I could walk, I may be asked to leave the place. So they put my bed in the hallway and kept me there to treat me, to give me medicine for the removal of pus formation and to regain my health. When I was there, instead of pus reducing, it increased everyday. My body swelled day by day. Day and night I cried because of unbearable pain, and I was laying there losing my sleep. I was almost nearing to death. Ten days I laid there. I was becoming a great burden for the doctors and nurses. Nobody was coming to see me and they have concluded that I am sure to die. They have already handed me over to die..But on the tenth day my mother came to know from the couple who brought me in the hospital that I was buried in a common burial ground somewhere in the hospital. Knowing this, she came to recite "Yassin" which is recited on the 10th day for the spirits of dead persons. When she inquired in the hospital where this ground is, they told her that I am alive and was lying there. She came and when she saw me, she hugged me, kissed me and wept, Then she said, "daughter, I desire to take you home, but I am afraid of your father who believes that you are dead. I wish that you will recover. If you recover and if you are alive, we will meet again, saying this she left. I cried and screamed that she should take me home but she never even looked back.Then I asked God, "Lord, why have you to keep me in this condition that even the woman who gave birth to me, my own mother, my Umma has to reject me? Why don't you take my life, Lord? Why have you retained life in this infected, swollen body? How could I do your work? While asking like this and crying bitterly I heard a sound like the humming noise emanating from a beehive. I was lying on the floor. As I was unable to lay on the bed, the doctors put a bed sheet on the floor, laid me there and covered my body with a sheet as they cover a dead body.When I heard that sound and when I carefully listened, I heard in my ears, "though your mother forgets you, I will not forget." From the Psalms, we read that His voice makes the hinds to calve." I felt as if the power of this sound was entering and spreading throughout my body from the top of my head to the thumb of my feet. By the power of God, forgetting the place where I was, forgetting the condition in which I was, I jumped up and started to worship God. After some time when I looked at myself I found that I did not have any problem. My swollen up body had become normal. Stomach has flattened and was in right position. Eyelids have opened up which were closed because of swelling. No pain in my body. I again jumped and there was no pain. So I thought, "I might have died and now I am in heaven with God." Then I realized that my condition was similar to what had happened to Lazarus who had died and after four days, Lord said, "Lazarus come forth" and he received life, he got strength, his body which had started to rot was completely restored. As the Bible says that he came out alive and well. And it happened to my body exactly.When I was jumping with joy, Holy Spirit prompted a thought into my heart that when a lame person who was lame from birth was brought to Jesus, people asked, why he is lame, is it because of the sins of his parents? But Jesus replied that it is for the glory of God." Thinking that I should work that the Glory of God is revealed there at that moment, I ran and went to the terrace of the third floor of the building. I stood there and called all the people. I told them my address, the route to go to my home, my father's name, my name, how God called me and how He led me all these days. Then I declared that Jesus is alive and that He makes us alive. If they believe in Him, His eternal life will be given to them. I spoke all these things. Hearing that testimony made a great impression on the people and they were very much excited because even up to that last moment and also in the previous night they had heard my screams. Last night also doctors had come inquiring, Has she died? Has she died? Thinking, what happened now, they came running, took me downstairs, ran all the tests on me and said, "According to medical science this never happens. Had never happened. We are unable not to believe that this is because of the work of Jesus about whom you speak."They all believed in Jesus because the doctor who was working among them had been telling them that Jesus is alive, Jesus is alive for many years, but they mocked at him and did not believe on his words. I believe that to enable them to have a first hand experience, a proof of the living Jesus' miracle working power, that God had taken me there. Otherwise God could have delivered me like this when that man made me to escape out of that river.
In previous issue you read that Jesus healed Nazeela Beevi miraculously. Please read next part here. Hospital staff themselves made a large collection, put me in a convent run by sisters and said that they will be coming after some days, but they did not come back. As nobody came to make payment for my stay there, the sister sent me out. She said that the convent is for the sisters and not an orphanage. She gave me the names of several places where refugees are accommodated and suggested that I go there. She also gave me some money in my hand. I did not know those places or how to go there. So I went to Trivandrum District to the houses of the believers with whom I had previously stayed.But they were all afraid for giving me shelter because my family members had troubled them earlier and they also knew that they were still searching for me. So they would accommodate me just for two or three days and would ask me to go somewhere else. When I go to another place, they would send me to some other place. In some places they asked me to go to such and such orphanage, Bible Collage or some other type of shelter. When I go there, they would tell, "If you bring a recommendation letter from the person who had directed you here, then we can admit you." There was nobody to help me and had no place to go. But the presence of Holy Spirit was always with me. The driving force, the compelling thought which was ruling my heart was only the anticipation of, "What will be the next miraculous thing that is going to be revealed through the miracle working power of Jesus?" Because of the excitement of knowing what the next move of Jesus would be, the trouble and sorrow I was going through did not seem big to me.My routine was to walk through the streets, to sit where there was some shade, read Bible, when thirsty I would drink water from tap, when I felt too much hungry and could not get any thing else even after three four days, I would eat banana skin. While walking along the streets if I hear the sound of prayer, I would enter, sit in a corner and hear the word of God, if I am offered water or tea I would accept, if any kindhearted people give me ten or twenty rupees, that also I would accept.By this time I had the opportunity to have my baptism. One group of believers secretly baptized me. From there I went for household work. But because people have seen from TV and news papers, the announcement that I was missing, nobody wanted to give me job. They put me in a train and sent me. I got down at Kozikkode Railway Station and there I saw posters on the walls with my photo and the news that I was missing. I did not know where to go. I was frightened after seeing my posters on walls saying that I was missing and thought, "People are paying attention, police also is noticing. If they recognize me, they will catch me and hand me over to my family. I stood at a corner telling, "Now what am I to do, God?" Then a thought came into my mind that when David was before king Achish, he posed as a madman and escaped from his clutches. Why not do the same trick? But I said, "No, I cannot do that. David was a man. He had the facility to go to the forest to stay in caves etc, but where could I go?While thinking like that and standing there, a mad girl came to me extending her hand and telling some unintelligent words. I then realized that my thoughts did not come from my mind, but was given to me by the Holy Spirit. I looked at her and Holy Spirit inspired me to dress like her. I looked at her and saw her dress. Even otherwise I had observed how mad people dress up. Thoughts and ideas which usually I do not have came to my mind. I dressed as she had dressed. I studied how she worked, what she was doing. I went wherever she went. Keeping a distance between us I followed her. I came to know that she belonged to a group of wanderers.A group of people like wanderers can be seen everywhere in Trivandrum District over footpaths and also in most of the Government lands pitching tents and living there. I mingled among them, slept there in a corner spreading paper or cloth. What they ate I also ate. I did not come to that stage to murmur and say, "Why have I fallen down to this much low degree that I had to eat this food which these people eat." This was not what God taught me. What God taught me was, "these people who do not know God, who do not have a place to sleep, no food to eat, no help from anywhere for them. They eat the rotten staled food from garbage cans of hotels or what are being thrown from fruit stalls, they roam about aimlessly in the streets begging, when night comes they sleep in the same streets, in the morning they and their children rise up and go happily, joyfully, leaping and jumping. God cares even for these who do not know Him." If God can care for them how much more He will care for me who knows God and I praised God thinking all these things.When God brought the Israelites out of Egypt and because they murmured, God made them to go round the wilderness for forty years, but my God did not sit in heaven unconcerned about their welfare. The proof that God was with them can be understood from the fact that the Israelites could survive and reach their destination unharmed. The land they had to pass through was uninhabited, having extreme cold as well as hot climates, where they had to face danger everywhere. They had to pass through a desert where there was no facility. But God walked with them in a pillar of cloud at day time, in a pillar of fire at night. He provided them with manna for food and when they desired He gave them quail. When we go through trials and tribulations He will not leave us to our fate, but will be with us and enable us to pass through those hurdles.So I believe that when I spread paper and cloth on the footpath and laid down to sleep, God was also there with me. I thank God for the love of my Lord.
I believed that when I spread my paper and cloth on the footpath and laid down to sleep, God was also there with me. I thank God for the love of my Lord. I was staying among the wandering people. But they created some problems for me and so I had to ran away from there. I went to a forest near by and stayed there for six months. During that time my relatives were searching for me, who while passing by me, they saw me but could not recognize me. Then only I realized the great significance of the foreknowledge of God in counseling me to dress and to act like a mad woman. For six months at day time I would wander in the streets begging for food and in the night in order to avoid unruly elements in society, I would go to an extensive jungle in Aruvikkara near Aruvikkara dam near about the water works in Trivandrum District where nobody goes. I would go there and sleep at nights. God told me that "even if any deadly poisonous animal or insect bites you your life will not be in danger.” Poisonous creatures like scorpions and other insects did bite me but nothing happened except the pain it gave me. The sun at day time nor the moon at night could harm me."Six months passed like that. One night I heard a hissing noise in front of me. Something was shining brightly. It was winding, circling and coiling in front of me and was ready to strike me. I understood that it was a serpent. As it was raining, I had entered a cave like space formed by entwining twigs. It was then that this incident happened. Suddenly a thought came through my mind that Jesus had authorized His disciples to trample on serpents, scorpions and on all the strength of the enemy. Disciples are those who love Jesus. When we deeply love the Lord, this authority will come down in our lives also. When I said like this, the serpent went away.In that night God told me, "This night your wilderness journey will end." In the morning I walked out from there. While walking I heard the sound of somebody singing with the beating of drum. I felt that somewhere a prayer meeting was being conducted. I moved in that direction. I saw a saintly servant of God conducting a prayer meeting from the veranda of his house. When I was approaching his house he was looking intently at me and when I reached there he said, "You are not mad. You are in sound mind. There is some secret behind you. Is it not because of this that you are like this?"When I was not replying, not saying a word, he said, "daughter, yesterday night when I was praying I saw in a vision a face like yours being caught up in a serpents cave. I prayed for you." I started crying thinking about the love of God for me. Because, when everybody had forgotten me; those who had previously given me shelter, those who had assured me saying that whatever may happen (even if the whole lot of Muslims would come to attack to catch me), they will not let me go, those who had promised that they will give me protection so that I could be a blessing to so many, those who loved me, those who had been with me, my own mother who had given birth to me, my own family members, when all had forgotten me, when they had been thinking that I am dead and gone, with no trace of where or when I had died, thinking that my name is entirely erased, my God was always seeing me, He was with me, He was interfering with those whom He had to intervene. He had been revealing to those to whom He had to reveal about me.This man of God called his daughters and wife and said, "you should take care of this girl just as you serve the Lord. Otherwise one day the Lord will tell you, "I came naked before you and you did not give me to wear, I came hungry and you did not feed me. You should not give Him the chance to say these words." Thus they took care of me. I stayed with them many days. When they went to a foreign land, they left me in an orphanage. When I was in that orphanage, God told me, "I am about to give you rest defeating all your enemies as I did to David. Your father had rejected you, troubled you and discarded you. I am going to provide you a father entirely for you."I got admission for the three year course in I.P.C's Bible College known as Perurkkada Bible Center run by Mr.K.C Thomas. But my problem was that everyday I had to go and come back and there was no one to help me. It was at that time that my would-be father (about whom God told me) came in search of me. His age was sixty years at that time. He had given his whole life for Jesus on the basis of what God showed him in a vision. He loved to be a father to the orphans and to the poor. He is a millionaire but he kept aside all his money for the poor people. He become as one of them. To all appearance he looked like a beggar. His way of dressing was like that. He is my father even today.One day he came to the Bible College to meet me. He said to me, "God spoke to me and asked me to accept you as my daughter." From that day he took me to the market and purchased for me the necessary clothes for me. He started educating me. He remitted all the fees for my study in college. He bore all my expenses whatever was necessary, whatever was desired by me. As a loving father would provide for his daughter he gave me everything and fulfilled all my wishes. After my graduation from Bible college and when I came home he brought many orphan children and for those children I became a mother. I loved them and did every thing for them, setup every thing necessary for them. Those children, those elderly widowed women, orphan girls, and women called me mother. God blessed me with this experience. God gave me that blessing that I could help number of orphans and poor people. Many widows and orphan women who were advanced in age older than me called me "Mother". Lord accepted me in this experience. Lord gave me grace to help many orphans and poor people and to support them. Lord gave me grace to help those who came through the same situations as I had gone through.One day when I took an orphan girl to the Medical College hospital, I saw a person who had come from my village for treatment. When she saw me, she came running to me and told, "Are you not so and so? Why don't you go to your home? So many big problems are taking place in your home. Many big issues had happened there." When I was asking what happened, at that time the doctor called her and she went inside and after that I never saw her again.I came back home and when I was praying in my room, Holy Spirit told me, "I took Elijah and placed him on the top of Carmel Mountain and revealed to the Israelites that I am the living God. In the same way in your village among your people I desire to reveal myself that I am the living God. Get ready to go there." And I was very much scared thinking about going back home. I asked God, "How is it, Lord? It is not possible for me."… But Lord said, "you must go." In the morning missionary came and said, "I have come here to tell you that, if God has spoken to you something yesterday night, you must obey."
When God asked me to get ready to go to my home, I was frightened. I told God, "How can I, Lord? I cannot go." But the Lord said, "you have to go." In the morning one missionary came and asked me, "Yesterday night did God tell you anything? If so you have to obey. I came here just to tell you that." Then he helped me to go there.Dear friends, when I went there I found that the grandeur palace like mansion where I was born and raised up was not there. My father had one acre of barren rocky land on this side of the river which no one had accepted. In that land I saw a shed built with palm leaves. I was thinking that may be my father might have given permission to the village authorities to build a shed for some poor people to live there. I came to this side and was climbing to the side where the shed was. I found that the whole land was covered with weeds and bushes. Because in this land there was nothing except rocks it was not suitable for agriculture. My father had extensive agricultural lands which he would give on lease to different people. This was the land which nobody had accepted.My thought was that in that shed some poor people may be residing from whom I could get information about my father, mother, my brothers, where they are? When I was thinking like that and climbing towards the shed, and when I looked through an opening, a small slit between the palm leaves, I saw the figure of one person who was nothing but skin and bones lying inside covered with filth, urine and house flies.By that time, some of the neighbors who saw me, came and asked, "Did you come knowing about all the conditions here?" I said, "No, I did not know anything? What happened? They said, "look and try to recognize who it is. He is your father." I was shocked. Then I asked, "where is my mother, where are my brothers?"Your mother is nowhere to be seen. But we had seen her running here and there as a crazy woman. We do not know where she is lying. If we try to help her in some way, she attacks us. So nobody goes near her. Your brothers may be with some of their relatives. I felt terribly burdened.Then they started asking, "Your father had been telling that you are with some Christian and something like that. Don’t you have any children? Do you not have a husband? I said, "With whom I had gone is not a Christian, but Jesus, the living God. That God has come here with me." While I was speaking those things, the presence of my God started moving throughout that place. In some corner of that place in the midst of a forest of wild pineapple plants, where my mother was lying, the devil within her, the devil which was controlling her and making her crazy realizing the presence of Jesus, screamed and shouted in a loud voice. The villagers said, "That is your mother who is screaming." When I paid attention to that cry I noticed that the cry was in terrible fear saying, “Oh, it is fire. Oh, it is fire, I shall go away. Don’t come near me."When I heard that, Holy Spirit prompted me to take action. I ran to that place, pulled my mother out and brought her near the shed. The villagers asked, "What is this power, girl? Usually when she sees us, she drives us and makes us to run away. But now she is so calm and she has no problem seeing us. They continued asking me but I did not say anything as I was filled with Holy Spirit. I made my mother to sit in front of the shed. The Holy Spirit was strengthening me. The villagers were observing me but it did not have any effect on me. I was only thinking of the presence of Jesus. Forgetting all about the place where I was, I raised both my hands towards heaven and prayed saying, "Jesus I pray that, for the people to know and believe, that You are God and that through You miracles take place and that I had accepted You, perform miracles now in this place, Lord." While saying those words, I saw my mother getting up with sound mind as a normal person.All the villagers were greatly excited asking what that power was which was transmitted when I raised both my hands. They asked how my mother came into her right mind. My mother was embracing me and crying. She could now recognize all the villagers. They asked again what that power was? I told them, "if you remain calm, I will tell you what this power is. As you think it is not witchcraft or magic. It is possible for you also to get this power. They were all sitting there looking straight at my face. I said, "The name of Jesus is above all other names. When we pray in the name of Jesus there is deliverance. In the name of Jesus there is eternal life. In that name paralyzed people stand up healed. In that name sick people are healed. In that name dead people will rise up, In the name of Jesus, impossible becomes possible."When I was still speaking, my sick Bapa (father) who had been reduced to just skin and bones, lying on a mat of palm leaves within that shed called out to me saying, "Daughter, pray for me also in the name of Jesus about whom you preach." After the day when my father tread with his foot over my mouth closing my mouth with his foot telling fiercely that the name of Jesus should not come out of my mouth, this was the day that I saw my father again, as a transformed person calling Jesus as Jesus. As I have said before, Jesus loves to be known as our God.My whole family started loving Jesus. Though my society was against me for a moment, later on they also realized the difference. God worked in such a way that they could come to know that the living God lives in me and that He leads me. My father got up completely healed and restored. Because he believed even though I did not pray for him. I just entered in that room and he stood up. He got complete healing. Today he is a healthy man. God changed the situation of my brothers so that they had to depend on me for their living. My God told Jeremiah, "If you leave wickedness, preach goodness and if you stand for me, you will not be on their side, but they will join your side." Holy Spirit is with us today to bring a group of people to our side. By our education, our ability, our money, our beauty or because of our position this is not possible. This is only possible with the help of Holy Spirit. So let us surrender ourselves completely under the control of Holy Spirit.When I returned back, God spoke to the missionary that the power of God to establish solitaire in families may be revealed in my favor. He spoke about me to the pastors. God had already given a vision long back to father of this servant of God, Rev. Daniel, Pastor of A.G. Church (which had jurisdiction at the place Manjappara of Kilimanoor section of Trivandrum District), asking him to accept one girl who had lost every thing in her life for the sake of the Lord for his son. God now intervened and told him, "You now fulfill the vision that I gave you."That missionary arranged my marriage beautifully and did every thing for me just as a father would do for his daughter. He is still caring for me. He is also of help to my family members as they cannot live without depending on me. My God arranged a father for me. Doctors had decreed and my family members waited to see that I could not bear children. But because of the strength of Holy Spirit who overcomes weakness enabled me to conceive two boys and to give birth to them with normal delivery. Apostle Paul says, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Thirteen years have passed since and God has kept me, led me and blessed me in all my ways.
As I said before that I grew up in a Muslim home where I had not much freedom to do anything according to my desires or my wish, but was always involved in Muslim scriptures. And I had dedicated my life completely for this purpose but God called me, separated me and not only did He bring me to His love but also anointed me and authorized me to proclaim His love. Holy Spirit led me in this anointing. My father, my mother, my brothers, my relatives, members of my mosque, my neighboring priests who had argued saying that Jesus is not God, rejected me and tortured me. But they heard my testimony about Jesus and My Lord opened the heart of them so that they could accept Jesus, and love Him.Dear people, let me say it again, wherever I go, I cannot keep quiet not telling about Jesus. Whenever I think about it my heart fills with gratitude for my Lord and I cannot stop praising God with heart full of gratitude and to glorify Him. While I went in those prayer meetings hiding myself so that no one should see me, sitting in a corner like a refugee or like a beggar, hearing the messages from the preachers, I never thought even in my dreams that one day I will be preaching along with those servants of God. When I saw posters about meetings, I would go in those meetings and sit at a corner but my God lifted me up and sat me with those elders and servants of God and allowed my name and photo to come with them and He also made me to preach like them, I praise God and glorify Him thinking of His mighty acts. I say that my God is a God of orphans, poor and helpless people. His righteous judgments are for the despised and poor. He raises the poor from dust and makes them to sit with princes. When he sits with the princes, that dust will not be lingering on their dresses. Whenever I go, my God keeps a seat for me among the mighty ones. His love, mighty works, power and miracles will be revealed in those who love Him and walk in His ways.
You can watch whole Nazeela Beevi story in Malayalam or in English at:
http://nazeelabeevi.com
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amen
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